Love You Mommy
At 7:28 AM on Sunday, April 18th, life as I knew it changed. My grandmother called and said that it was believed that my mom had a heart attack in her sleep. She ended up spending one day on life support before we released her to take rest with our Heavenly Father. We never imagined that our sweet Mother and Wife would go on so soon. We never imagined that she wouldn’t meet our future husbands, see our wedding days, or meet her grandchildren. We assumed we had time. We assumed that life had more in store for her. But we were wrong. She was ready though. She was always ready. She lived her life with her ultimate goal being she wanted to please God. She would always say, “I just want to hear Him say well done.” We know that she did.
Her death left a God-size hole in our hearts that only He can fill. Her passing left a void that we will learn to live with. But we aren’t sad like those that aren’t of the Body are when they lose a loved one. We are sad because we miss her presence and her being here. However, we rejoice knowing that we don’t have to worry about her soul. She doesn’t have to deal with the cares of this world. She doesn’t have to be concerned with what is to come. She fulfilled her earthly assignment. She touched many lives and made an impact on many people. Her passing caused many to reevaluate how they live for Christ.
Mommy made me realize that I can’t be afraid of what God has put in me. I often denied the power and gift He has given me because I was ashamed. I wasn’t living fully for Him. I was afraid that I couldn’t enjoy life AND walk-in ministry. I was afraid that I couldn’t be the perfect example for those He has assigned to hear my voice. She never cared about that. She put her insecurities aside because she understood that her calling was bigger than her emotions. Her passing has awakened something new in me. It has awakened the need to fully pursue purpose. It has awakened the need to live healthier in mind, body, and spirit. (SN: She was completely healthy when she passed.) It has awakened the need to put pettiness aside and to fix broken relationships that are meant to be restored while forgiving and moving past the ones that are meant to end. Her transition instantly changed my perspective on so many things. I am grateful for her.
I miss her so much. I just cannot believe that she isn’t here anymore. I cry and ask God “Why my Mommy?” sometimes. Let me tell you something, He picked a jewel to bring home. I am so honored to have shared 32 years with her. She lives on in me, my father, sister, grandparents, uncles, aunts, and cousins. She was a true woman of God. If you notice anything different about me, don’t take it personally. My walk WILL be different. My talk WILL be different. My decisions WILL be different. My goal isn't to come across as an influencer that knows it all. I don't care about analytics, algorithms, and followers. Just know that my focus is on sharing the gospel of Christ. Her life wasn’t in vain and neither was her passing. Her transition has taught many what is important and that is to live for Christ.
Rest peacefully Mommy. We can’t wait to reunite with you in eternity. Daddy, CJ and I love you tremendously. #RIPMommy🕊🤎